"this name is, by far, the hardest on the list. i haven't spoken to you in years, yet there's a familiarity to all of this that i am completely uncomfortable with. i just want this moment to be over. but i know, in this moment, He's forming and shaping me into the image of the woman i am to become. somehow, this will all make sense when i walk away. i asked you to meet me in this quaint little room because there are things left unsaid between us. the first being that i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i didn't tell you that i was being sucked dry, sorry that i didn't speak the truth to you even when it hurt, sorry that i've made you suffer for the past two years because i just didn't want to hurt about it anymore, sorry for all the things i may have done. that being said, i need your forgiveness paired with the understanding that although i hurt you, you were also the primary source of the hurt, so i hurt you much more than i hurt anyone else in that time. i'm not excusing my actions, just showing you the place i was in when everything went down.
the second thing is going to be, by far, the most controversial of the three. i forgive you. for all the ill words spoken against me, for the blind hatred that has taken place since we said goodbye, for cheating on me, for expecting me to be your fulfillment, and for using me to feel satisfied. i'm not calling you a monster, i'm just forgiving you for the things you and i both know you did, and asking for your forgiveness for the things that you and i both know i did.
the third is simply thanking you for coming here and thanking you for the growth you brought into my life. i think we both know that at the beginning, it was beautiful, but over the months and through all the tears, we were both unhappy. yet we never simply finished this chapter in our lives. today is all about closure. i want you to understand that i'm not bitter or angry about any of this, and i pray you aren't, but i want to see you in the hall and know a friendly smile is going to be real from the both of us. i want peace.
the damage has been done, our friendship is not capable of restoration. too many words and too much history. but i want this to be the end of the struggle. i want us to walk away feeling like this is the end. and i want you to be happy. i hope you succeed in everything you do, and i will always be happy to hear of what God is doing in your life. "
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