i want You more than my vanity.

makeup is a jewel for girls.

it's not even that we feel weird without it (although that is true),

but it's fun to buy, to play with, to put on in the mornings.

we truly enjoy wearing our makeup. all the colors and shock factors...

it's just FUN.

however, at some point, we forget that we're beautiful without it.

so, of course, considerate of my "i want You more" project,

i decided to shatter my insecurities at His feet

and go without makeup for 3 days.

tuesday through thursday. usually the days i try to look my best.

day one: was difficult. i ran into him and wouldn't look at him because i didn't want him to see me without my usual face paint. but eventually, i got over it. i realized that i put a lot of my security in my beauty. it's not like i think i'm a model, but i know that with the right makeup, a gorilla could be a model.

day two: better. i woke up late, so the whole no makeup thing really killed some time off my morning. but i got sick later that night and i looked like death. i was really wishing that i had some makeup to put color and life into my face. and it's then that i realized, that i hadn't even noticed that my makeup had become a mask for my pain. sounds crazy, but it made sense to me. so....

day three: was beautiful. it's day three today. reached for the makeup subconsciously, and then smiled at the fact that i hadn't used it all week. i enjoyed being makeup-less all morning, even though i was on stage. funny, come to think of it, this was the most alive i've been in chapel worship all semester!! but i kinda don't want to see my makeup fast come to an end. but...i just got new makeup from sephora and i NEED to use it!

the fact of the matter is that, i'm learning to strip away anything that brings security. i don't ever want to put faith in it instead of Him. and i'm finding that there are small things that i didn't even realize i put faith in. makeup will make me beautiful. control will make me happier. dignity is always important...but it's not true. God says i'm beautiful. He's in control. He doesn't want me to be dignified....

and in that, i'm joyful and content.